Up for sale is my old JD-670 Deep Core Mulcher — call sign: “The Divorcee.” She’s loud. She’s mean. And she absolutely hates foliage. ✅ Dual exhaust (unmuffled) ✅ Crowbar mount with duct-tape stabilizer ✅ Custom horn that plays ‘Free Bird’ ❌ No seatbelt (adds character) She’s got some wear from the Battle of Backlot Prime. Still runs on 60/40 gasoline-to-bitterness ratio. Looking for 800 diesel credits OR trade for a backup apron with flamethrower loops. NO LOWBALLERS. I KNOW WHAT I GOT. – RandyDad94

Got a SkyHauler that’s got too much lift for my tastes — looking to downsize. Stats: - 3/4 foam cannons operational - Still plays Toby Keith, though speaker’s a bit crunchy - Only crashed twice (both were soft) Would consider trade for: - Working smoker turret - Flame-sealed apron (XL) - One of those solar-powered beer holsters Serious inquiries only. No Steve jokes. Still not over it. – TurboGrill87

Lost two treads during last week’s engagement. Looking for: - Spore-resistant rubber (not synthetic!) - Prefer tread with deep root-cleave patterns - Bonus if they’ve been blooded already Have beer. Will trade. – Armadaddon782